It Started Off Happy...

Ironically, I got some sleep last night but am more tired today than I've been all week.  So weird.  I guess I'm not all that talkative because of it, so this will probably be pretty short.

There are 15 CFers in right now, so things are a little hectic around here.  The PT people have to work out how to do all 15 CFer's CPT twice by 12:00pm.  Not an easy task.  Then they have to get us all in to exercise between 2:30pm and 4:00pm.  Again, not an easy task.  But they get it done and we are all the better for it.

I wrote the first paragraph and my endocrine fellow (a doctor who is in process of getting their specialty) came in and gave me some news.  They took a urine test the other day and there are proteins in my urine, which is called nephropathy.  This means that there is at least some kidney damage.  The good news is that it is early and is treatable.  I will now be taking a blood pressure medication in order to correct the problem.  This brings on more regular tests and concerns, but it is treatable, so that is good.  The bad news is that it is my fault.  For more than 12 years I did not take care of my diabetes.  It took a backseat to my CF and because of my stubbornness and lack of discipline I have now created a whole new issue.  I'm crying now because I feel so stupid for not taking care of myself.  There is/was this part of me, that despite having CF, has been in denial of the significance of the diabetes and the fact that I could develop other issues.  Maybe it's just too much for my brain to handle.  I joke a lot about how many health issues I have, but it's always, at least initially, a shock to hear that there is yet another problem.  I know that eventually I will add this to my list of complications and diseases and will move on with the taking care of myself.  Right now, though, I am still processing.  If you could pray that I process well and that the treatment will be successful without side effects, I would greatly appreciate it.

Until later...